Something a little different

I have decided this post is going to be a little different. I usually just throw a picture up here and tell about how wonderful and fun Ayda is (which of course is so easy to do!). But today I am going to share some other stuff. I don't usually type out my feelings or more personal stuff I am going through because, let's be honest, I am not the greatest writer out there. But as our family begins the many changes that are about to take place I feel like sharing a little about the journey that got us here. Kevin is down in Florida right now taking care of the beginning stages of his business. I am so beyond excited to begin watching his practice grow. This year has been tough. My personality is not one to sit and just wait. Kevin was so huge in keeping me grounded and in prayer to wait for God's answer. I even tried many times to pray "God if you will just tell me where we will be I'll keep it quiet till you reveal it to Kevin". I mean really, how silly is that?!? And of course, God stayed quiet, especially with that prayer.

With our pregnancy last year I learned so much about faith. Kevin and I went against the grain in everything (ie no ultrasounds, no testing, home birth, etc). We got a lot of questions, a lot of judgements, and a lot of "I'll be interested to see how this pans out" comments. But we knew we were listening to our hearts and doing it all for our unborn baby. Though I was 100% at peace about our decision I still had fear creep in and doubt. I work in a NICU, of course it was there at times. But God really taught me about trust and faith those 9 months. There was nothing about the pregnancy I could change. I prayed God would just take care of that sweet baby and deliver her in His perfect timing and safely. And He did! So I learned what faith was like and not to lean on fear.

So begins 2009...the year of testing that faith. We found out in January that the job we were pretty much banking on fell through. That night began many months of us praying for direction and getting nothing back. We stayed still for a while and then we just began moving. Not sure where to go but Kevin started pursuing things here in Atlanta. And after several weeks of not feeling true peace we decided to put things on hold again. And then finally God made his will clear to us. Florida it is!

I don't know that I have ever had to wait so long on an answer before. Kevin and I both said several times in the past we just seemed to know what God wanted and we would do it. But this time we were clueless. There were many nights I would be feeding Ayda crying out for some kind of answer. My job was on the line and I wanted to move forward. And though God didn't give us answers on demand (because that's what He should do, right?), He sustained us through the wait. My job was given back for the few more months we needed and I learned more and more about myself, marriage, God. I have learned patience. I don't have a 5 year plan like I held so tightly to. I don't know what next year will hold. We are just moving forward now to the next phase of this amazing journey. And God is showing us how to make that happen. He is also increasing my desire to be home with Ayda more everyday. My last night at work is next wednesday and I cannot wait to be 100% hers. No more extreme fatigue from being up two nights a week, no more making bottles before leaving for an entire night. I know many woman long for this same thing, but I have always wanted to be home with my kids. And Kevin and I both feel it is time for that to happen. Again another area that I just have to trust that God will provide. We will sacrifice what we need to in order for it to happen.

So I sit here sharing all this to simply say, patience brings peace and peace brings the comfort in knowing God is truly the author of our lives. What better place than to be in His will? Kevin's practice is more than a business. It is our desire to serve the people that come to him and to see them get well. I am so excited to serve and be a part of Clermont. Kevin's hometown!