Processing a loaded day...

Yesterday was quite a day. So many emotions to process. As I left work in the morning I called my mom to chat (this is common since she is usually heading to work when i am heading home and we talk so I can stay awake driving). Except yesterday was different when she answered. A friend of mine from work was diagnosed with a brain tumor two weeks ago. Had surgery the next day and was supposed to do fine. Several complications set in and we knew her time here on earth was coming to an end. I checked her website right before I left work and there was nothing new. However when mom answered with tears in her eyes I knew something had changed. My friend and coworker passed away. Immediately tears started flowing down. I contemplated needing to pull over but instead got myself together enough to just get home. Terri had a huge impact on whoever she was around, but especially at work. It was always so clear she was not there for the pay check. She loved those babies so much and advocated for them constantly. And she was so fun to work with. So I got home and cried some more before getting Ayda up. I had been planning to take her to story time at the local library and decided to go ahead and still go. It would be a "happy" in my day. And it was. Ayda had so much fun. Other than trying to eat the books and her name tag she did great. We got home and picked up Kevin and all went to lunch. When your mind is on something like this with Terri, any family time you have just seems to mean that much more. After lunch Ayda and I went to bed and napped. At some point through the day I also received an email from my brother about a friend of his and Allison's that was due to have their baby yesterday. Planned C-section. We have been praying for this sweet little boy for over half of her pregnancy. He was diagnosed with a syndrome that can either take his life or simply cause some mental retardation. Yesterday was the day to find out the severity. When I read that email I just said "Come on God please let this one turn out ok. Two in one day is too much". Baby Trust was born and appears to be doing ok. I have taken care of kids with his syndrome and Trust really looks like he might have the less severe form. I am hopeful. Then last night I finally got online to check a blog I have been following for months. A sweet baby boy with a heart condition. He had surgery last week to correct the defect. It was 65% effective. When I got on the blog his mom joyfully had reported they were discharged and heading home. Their family has been separated for 5 weeks. So as I watched a video of their journey tears of joy came out. 

As I laid in bed last night I was processing everything from the day. There is grieving and sadness for Terri and her loss. Our NICU will have a hole in it without her there. I cried so many tears yesterday as i thought of her husband, son, and extended family facing each new day without her. Then there is a family that is waiting with anticipation to find out the future/prognosis for their precious son. I wait with hope with them. And then a family that will be reunited today with a baby that is not fully healed but can be at home to grow until he can have a surgery that will fix the problem. Sadness, mourning, hope, anticipation, joy, happiness, relief. I laid there and thought "wow what a loaded day". I was exhausted. My precious husband offered to take over night time duty with Ayda so i could just sleep. I got up to feed her a couple times but when she usually wakes up in the early part of the night he took care of her. The rest has done so much good to help me face today. My heart is more heavy for the loss of Terri as the reality sets in. Please keep her family, the Brown family, and baby Stellan in your prayers. Now I am off to play with my sweet baby!!!